Why I Struggled to Improve My English

This is my story.

I am a Korean, English is my second language. I have never lived abroad. However, I couldn’t understand why my English skill was not improving though I poured my time and energy into it. I have spent a lot of time reading articles and novels in English. I’ve heard various podcasts and watched Youtube video clips on my way to the office or home. I tried to keep a diary every single day(Of course, I couldn’t do it every single day).

I became able to read English materials very well, though, my speaking remained underdeveloped. Whenever I speak English, I would feel the person I am talking to turn into curiosity and confusion. Someone who is very honest told me, we do not say like that. He pointed out my English was awkward.

I am a heavy reader in Korean. So I can understand very well when one speak of something even if they’re not good at speaking. Since I can listen carefully and comprehend from the context. I can read their faces and beyond the lines, enabling me to understand the real meaning they want to explain or tell me. I can catch the meaning very well.

Sometimes when I say something in English, they’re astonished by my speaking because my thinking is not ordinary and vocabulary is good and I am able to catch the point what they are trying to say. When they find out I have never lived abroad, they raise eyebrows. At times, I think that true communication skill is not related to language proficiency directly but it’s connected with sympathetic abilities. Someone who I know can speak English very well though, she couldn’t make them understood in her own words. In that case, we couldn’t understand her meaning even in Korean.

Now, I am looking back on my path to learning English. It was totally different to other countries’ approach. Asian students started with reading first when they set out to learn a new language. I did it, too. I didn’t listen to the simple conversation but read difficult paragraphs which were written by famous persons like Oska Wild or George Orwell. I know that writing style is excellent but that’s not casual English we talk every single day.

Even though I was fascinated by motivating video clips in Ted talks, it’s not a daily conversation. Although I was stuck to Netflix, I was likely to lose focus by following the exhilarating stories. I could just get a few sentences from that film. That couldn't be a part of myself. That phrases were over there, I couldn’t speak out the sentence when it needed to be used. They were not in my long-term memory.

A woman who can speak English very well instead of Korean read aloud a Korean dialog in front of me. Frankly speaking, it was not good. She didn’t read in a way we speak. When I read a paragraph aloud, she pointed out it sounds weird. And she told me “Listen to me and repeat it”. Frankly, I pronounced “Go ahead” twenty times. Since she didn’t accept my pronunciation. She said I say “Go ahead” like a Korean. I recognized it. After twenty time repetition, I finally can say “Go ahead” perfectly.

I discovered I didn’t listen carefully until now. I tried to think of the structure of sentence in my head. Instead of listening, I was trying to form a sentence in my head. So the response speed was slow and I couldn’t catch the line. Listening was the first thing we have to catch up instead of reading. A good communicator is a listener not a speaker.

If we don’t listen to other’s speaking carefully, we can’t grasp the whole conversation. Asian students have studied with a reversed way for a long time!

And we also feel shame when we speak English not fluently. I was one of those that don’t want to look like an idiot. So I was reluctant to speak English in front of my American boss. However, I enjoyed speaking in front of my acquaintances who have similar hobbies and interests. Book reading was a very good gateway to break the ice and open new doors to communication.

Now, I am listening to kindergarten video clips on TV. I set out not to scold myself not to understanding all conversation of video clips. My speaking level actually is not as high as I expect. I recognize my level, and then I start over. I am going to put listening first(even though I love reading). And repetition. I am going to repeat it again and again until the phrase became a part of myself.

Language is a skill to listen and repeat. I am not going to learn a language “by the book”.

Most of all, we need to derive pleasure from language learning. If it is not funny, why are we doing that? Enjoy your journey and then you can get something from that. Don’t do that in an unpleasant way!

Are you curious about my progress?
I am looking forward to sharing it with you!