Secret of Learning

I am not a tennis player. And I’ve never played tennis before. However, reading the book, The Inner Game of Tennis, reminds me of how it is important to know how to learn. We are beings that have to learn something from the time we are born until we die. These days, the ability to learn quickly and accurately is acquired is required to achieve our goal. What is learning? How can we learn quickly? What is the goal of learning?

When I was young, I was trained to “Apply yourself.” If I didn’t do that, I was scolded by adults like teachers. Fortunately, my mom was very generous, and she was always pleased with my activities. I could do everything I wanted to do. However, I really yearned for my father’s approval. I wanted to hear his praises, full praises. I applied myself to earn his approval and to prove myself. There was always a collision between the urge to enjoy and the urge to show off or prove myself.

Sadly, I was accustomed to treating myself like an instructor. I usually set goals that had very high bars and put my whole energy into achieving them. If I didn’t meet the goal, I felt guilty because I thought I didn’t do my best. There was always someone who whipped and scolded me. Due to those characteristics, I could fulfill a goal, but I wasn’t able to feel contentment even though I achieved the goal I longed for.

The true power to do something or go further is based on the unconditional belief. Crawling to walking happened naturally, we didn’t need to work hard. There was no need for someone to encourage us to walk. By trial and error, we found an easier way to get around. We didn’t read a book for walking or practice it intentionally.

Trying harder is not always the best way to do something. That is our old habit. But when we try harder, our muscles and senses begin to stiffen. When we overthink and calculate, our reactions become too slow. We get lost and go astray. And then we scold ourselves again and get caught in a vicious cycle.

Natural learning is always from the inside out, not vice versa. All we have to do is Observe, Feel and Notice rather than Follow, Take, and Accept.

• Let it happen.
• Just trust yourself without thought.
• Take care of yourself like your mom would.
• Imagine and feel it.
• Don’t try to learn by the book.

Knowing is not being told

When we read something, we mistake that we know it. When we are told, we assume that we know it. Knowing is not being told or being read. When we watch a film, we could be touched. However, the feeling comes and goes. In spite of reading a lot, there must be time to internalize ideas and make them a part of ourselves.

Learning is not the collection of information, but the realization of something which actually changes one’s behavior — including patterns of thought.

Last week, I screwed up my presentation at Toastmasters club. First, I miscalculated the time to be prepared and overestimated myself because I thought one day would be enough to prepare a successful presentation. Due to a lack of rehearsal, I couldn’t speak out naturally. Worst of all, I started out the story from the data instead of my own story. The theme was absolutely mine, but the story was not mine. I gathered resources and used them to persuade the audience. However, it didn’t work. Since it was not my story, I couldn’t deliver it intimately and compellingly. I mistook my knowledge from the book as my own knowledge.

In order to do something, I needed to put myself in a reality not a virtual situation. That’s why I love to attend to an offline meeting, not an online meeting. Instead of following principles that someone made before, I should have searched my own way. Because I have to make my own way through my execution, not someone else’s. I can only live my own life, not anyone’s. I can afford to use someone else’s success case but it can’t be one of my principles.

Use outside models in your learning, but don’t let them use you.

The Secret of learning

The key is not over-analyzing before doing. Just putting myself in the here and now without overthinking or judging is the most critical strating point.

For far too long, I have struggled to learn English. Whenever I found a sort of impressive textbooks, I bought them. But I didn’t finish them and scolded myself due to inconsistency. I blamed myself for not speaking English like a native speaker. Sometimes, I resented myself for not living or studying abroad. But it was what happened. All I need to do is focusing on my current status, carefully observe others who can speak English very well, imagine the desired outcome, sense how it is, and let it happen.

I needed to immerse myself in the joy of learning, not the pressure of it. To do that, I have to focus on the here and now. But it is important to know that focus can’t be acquired from trying hard but rather letting it go. When we liberate ourselves from the conscious, we finally focus on what we are doing. Consciousness illuminates our roads but the intended consciousness can restrict ourselves in a trap.

Thoughts and thinking come and go, but the child self, the true self, is there and will be there as long as our breath is. To enjoy it, to appreciate it, is the gift of focus.

After all, the unconsciousness does work. To handle the unconsciousness, we need to know what it wants truly and set it free. What’s the reason we seek the goal? If we look at the source of the urge, we can find a way.

It’s time to look into yours.