One thing I came to know while learning English

My New Year’s resolution was to improve my English dramatically.
I set the goal and strived to achieve that goal.
I covered all kinds of books and video clips on how to improve English.Speaking was my weak point rather than reading or writing as most Korean students. Fluency was the thing I wanted to fulfill in my English.

First, I came to know my pronunciation wasn’t correct.
I already knew my pronunciation wasn’t that good.

But I didn’t know why.

I didn’t know where my tongue should be placed for correct pronunciation. You know what? I’ve never been taught how to exactly sound each of 44 phonemes. Just memorizing more words was far more serious rather than sounding that out adequately.
For the first time, I dissected my pronunciation and now slightly came to distinguish each sound.

In fact, I didn’t have to learn English for examination or promotion but I was still used to acquiring something like study or work.

I blamed myself for not getting better.
Progress was much slower than I expected.
Whenever I slip up, I beat myself up over it.

I’ve been so stressed out.
I was sad.

I asked people how to improve my English?
I hated the word, practice, practice makes perfect?

Bullshit! I wanted more practical tips!
All I wanted to know is how, not truism.

Kindly, they told me a lot of secrets.
Shadowing, Reading loudly, dictation, keeping a diary etc, etc, etc.
However, I couldn’t continue all kinds of practice every single day.

Was it because of my lack of willpower?
I don’t think so.

I was trapped by the limitation of the notion that I had to achieve something like a goal. Yes, of course. I wanted to be a fluent speaker like a native. But why? Why do I have to be like a native speaker?
Why should I feel ashamed that I am not like a native speaker?

One of the biggest pleasures of my life is knowing something.
Especially, realizing that I was wrong beforehand.

What matters isn’t acquiring.
It’s advancing our understanding of it. Enjoying our journey.
Transforming our knowledge into actions.

Language isn’t a thing.
It’s built upon our experiences with another person. The true profundity of learning is so bound up with our pleasures from the journey with others.

My eyes get brighter when I have something to tell others.
My heartbeat gets faster when I read something that gives me brilliant insights. I become enthusiastic when I am with people who listen to my words carefully.

That is the cash value of learning, interacting and communicating.
Accuracy? Is the sum total of inaccuracy.
We don’t have to shame ourselves.
No one has the right to make us feel ashamed because of our lack of fluency.

Learning should be a joy, not a torture.
Life is too short to torture ourselves.